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Two people love each other very much and are committed to bringing out the best in each other makes happy marriage. For example, if your partner is struggling with issues at work or home or health or society, LISTEN & TALK to your partner about the situation and HELP & SUPPORT.

A happy marriage has an environment of positive energy, which includes gratitude and appreciation. Habits can either create or destroy this positive climate. “Most people say that they don’t have any habits.” Everyone does have. We might not realize it. For example, complaining your partner about not preparing dinner/coming late at home can become a habitual complaint. Other negative habits include criticism, contempt, sarcasm and distancing behaviours.

To harness healthy daily habits as opposed to destructive habits to create a positive environment is the best trick in your marriage. These habits don’t have to be grand gestures or sweeping alterations.

Very small, imperceptible and easy thinks to do can make a BIG difference in healthy relationships.

Below are the small but significant gestures you can incorporate in your day-to-day life.

1. Make your morning greeting your spouse lovingly.

Every morning when you first see your spouse, greet them with a positive statement and positive body physiology. For example, say, “ I’m the happiest person to have you in my life”. The key is to be positive and loving.

2. Text love messages to your spouse.

Throughout the day send few messages like “ I Love You”, “I miss you” to your spouse using modern technology like whatsapp.

3. HUG when reunite everyday.

Whenever you reunite in a day, make your reunion with a warm HUG lasting atleast 20 seconds. This makes your bonding happy and positive.

4. Take at least one meal together and touch your spouse .

Make it habit of having at least to take one meal each day with your spouse. During the meal touch the arms, hands or legs of your spouse.

5. Each day Compliment your partner.

Many marital relationships suffer from chronic under-appreciation. We take each act for granted. Thank your spouse for even the smallest act like cleaning, preparing food, washing, dressing etc. each day. By doing this your spouse will not only feel appreciated and also start to train yourself to look for good in your spouse. Focus on the work your spouse do, not on they don’t.


6. Express your needs politely.

Invite your spouse talk to you politely. Tell that you want to spend some time together. Often people will criticize as a way of describing their needs. So instead of a request, it comes out as an attack.

7. FEEL the breadth.

It’s a powerful way to enhance your intimacy. Put your hands on each other’s chest or belly and feel your partner’s breathing. Synchronize your breath together for one minute. Also look into each other’s eyes.

Some days you probably won’t feel like showing appreciation or being affectionate. You might be in a miserable mood or downright exhausted. But try it anyway. If you do a loving behaviour, you start to feel more loving. 

Dr. Neha Sharma Counseling Psychologist & Psychotherapist